It's almost an entire year later, and I've only written 6 times.
This makes seven.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
vinegar and baking soda
I've started a cleaning out. I'm sure there are better words for it, but cleaning out seem to be the best ones to me. It's kind of affecting every aspect of my life too. It started with not drinking so much. Then it progressed to not using chemicals when I cleaned. Vinegar, baking soda, and essential oils work amazingly. So then I decided to quit smoking. And that's kind of where I am now. It's not a pretentious thing. I would never think that everyone should do what I'm doing, because based on my track record, this might not last. I'm the poster child of unfinished business.
I'm going to be in New Orleans this weekend with Scott, and I'm hoping to do a little thrift shopping to get some inspiration for new stuff that I want to start sewing. I've been staring at the same old stuff for too long. I think this new cleaning out is going to be great.
Decisions. Life is all about decisions. I don't believe there's good luck or bad luck or any luck really. It's just choices we make. There might be a higher power, but I'm not sure. I guess that might sound like common sense, but I'm kind of teaching myself common sense these days.
I'm going to be in New Orleans this weekend with Scott, and I'm hoping to do a little thrift shopping to get some inspiration for new stuff that I want to start sewing. I've been staring at the same old stuff for too long. I think this new cleaning out is going to be great.
Decisions. Life is all about decisions. I don't believe there's good luck or bad luck or any luck really. It's just choices we make. There might be a higher power, but I'm not sure. I guess that might sound like common sense, but I'm kind of teaching myself common sense these days.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
fancy pants
I just spent the last two days in Memphis. I'm always on the fence about whether I could live there or not. I think I would actually really like it. I mean, good food, music, and not too expensive. Definately dirty. If someone would give me a job there, I think I would easily move. And love it.
I've noticed a theme in these posts, and it's a little pessimistic and critical. That's not cool. I need to change my tune. Who cares about what constitutes an artist? As long as someone is happy doing what they do, it shouldn't matter. I can be such an asshole.
I love hearing a British boy say, "I fancy you. Do you fancy me?" American boys can't do that.
I've noticed a theme in these posts, and it's a little pessimistic and critical. That's not cool. I need to change my tune. Who cares about what constitutes an artist? As long as someone is happy doing what they do, it shouldn't matter. I can be such an asshole.
I love hearing a British boy say, "I fancy you. Do you fancy me?" American boys can't do that.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
aesthetics
It's Super Bowl Sunday, and I really could care less. I wonder how many angsty little blogs started off with that very statement today. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm not as individualistic as I think. Hell, none of us are when you really think about it. It's just trendy to be be different. Tattoos aren't taboo anymore. (I'm really glad I never did that, although I've seen some pretty cool ones in my day.) They're mainstream. Everyone is an "artist." Everything taboo has become mainstream, and normal has become strange.
And that leads me to my next question: What constitutes an artist? Damn near everyone claims to be one these days. I'm actually sort of sick of it to the point that it's refreshing to hear accountants and insurance salesmen still exist out there. Hey y'all, let's be friends. At least I won't have to pretend to like whatever craft of the moment you're making.
Of course I say this as a costume designer (I'm so damn artistic). I do believe there is a huge difference between art and craft though. Philosophers have been attempting to define art for centuries now, so I know I'm not going to be able to sum it up in one little blog post. I just think the idea of being an artist has been over-hyped in the last few years, so everyone fancies every little collage and piece of homemade jewelry they make as "art." I call it craft. And there's no shame in it. I do stuff like that all the time, but I'm not calling up the local gallery asking them to showcase it.
I'm a firm believer that this idea stems from my generation. We're all nearing our thirties, and whether I like it or not, that means we're adults. I notice commercials targeting our generation. It's weird. I don't like hearing songs that I really like being played under car or candy or cleaning product (agh!) commercials. It makes me feel super lame. Maybe that's my problem, but I think a lot of people like me might agree. I'm veering from my point a bit. Ok, my generation was told they were good at everything they did. (um, we weren't.) Our parents told us we could do whatever we wanted to do if we set our mind to it. How fucking cruel?! Hey, ok, if I think really really hard, I'm going to be an astronaut. Yessss, awesome. It's utter delusion we all face daily. We are the delusional generation. We also refuse to accept the fact that we're adults, but I hear people talking about that all the time these days and I'm sort of sick of it. Yeah, I had a problem accepting adult responsibility but then 27 happened, and I got over it. Adults are cool. And I'm one. It doesn't change the fact that we are still delusional though.
I want to think about this a little more and revisit it. I want to find someone making the most outlandishly terrible piece of "art" and pick their brain. I'll bet their parents told them they were great artists, and they were really just awful or worse, mediocre. The world lost one more great accountant.
Mediocrity. That's a great word for so much "art" I see and hear about. I think it's a direct result of someone's delusion that they are actually good. I know this sounds so assholish. Believe me, I love making things. And I'm not knocking artists. Most of my friends are. I just wish it wasn't thrown around so much. I think it loses a lot of meaning now that it is.
And that leads me to my next question: What constitutes an artist? Damn near everyone claims to be one these days. I'm actually sort of sick of it to the point that it's refreshing to hear accountants and insurance salesmen still exist out there. Hey y'all, let's be friends. At least I won't have to pretend to like whatever craft of the moment you're making.
Of course I say this as a costume designer (I'm so damn artistic). I do believe there is a huge difference between art and craft though. Philosophers have been attempting to define art for centuries now, so I know I'm not going to be able to sum it up in one little blog post. I just think the idea of being an artist has been over-hyped in the last few years, so everyone fancies every little collage and piece of homemade jewelry they make as "art." I call it craft. And there's no shame in it. I do stuff like that all the time, but I'm not calling up the local gallery asking them to showcase it.
I'm a firm believer that this idea stems from my generation. We're all nearing our thirties, and whether I like it or not, that means we're adults. I notice commercials targeting our generation. It's weird. I don't like hearing songs that I really like being played under car or candy or cleaning product (agh!) commercials. It makes me feel super lame. Maybe that's my problem, but I think a lot of people like me might agree. I'm veering from my point a bit. Ok, my generation was told they were good at everything they did. (um, we weren't.) Our parents told us we could do whatever we wanted to do if we set our mind to it. How fucking cruel?! Hey, ok, if I think really really hard, I'm going to be an astronaut. Yessss, awesome. It's utter delusion we all face daily. We are the delusional generation. We also refuse to accept the fact that we're adults, but I hear people talking about that all the time these days and I'm sort of sick of it. Yeah, I had a problem accepting adult responsibility but then 27 happened, and I got over it. Adults are cool. And I'm one. It doesn't change the fact that we are still delusional though.
I want to think about this a little more and revisit it. I want to find someone making the most outlandishly terrible piece of "art" and pick their brain. I'll bet their parents told them they were great artists, and they were really just awful or worse, mediocre. The world lost one more great accountant.
Mediocrity. That's a great word for so much "art" I see and hear about. I think it's a direct result of someone's delusion that they are actually good. I know this sounds so assholish. Believe me, I love making things. And I'm not knocking artists. Most of my friends are. I just wish it wasn't thrown around so much. I think it loses a lot of meaning now that it is.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
it's official
I'm an insomniac, and I hate sleeping pills. Instead of fighting against the awake, maybe I should just utilize this time I know I won't be sleeping to do something productive. (Like writing this?) I guess productivity is all in the eye of the beholder.
Part of the reason I lie in bed awake are my thoughts. I think about all the things I probably should have thought about during the daytime, but didn't. Or couldn't. Or just wouldn't. I take the hours of 12 - 4 or so to analyze every aspect of my life (and others), and wonder why I can't make it better. Maybe that's insane...or the ADHD I'm always told that I probably have (which I refuse to embrace, but have my own suspicions).
So maybe I should write them all down. Share my analyzations of my world. Hell, it might help me sleep. Or at least get to sleep before 5 in the morning.
Tonight, I lay awake sort of baffled. Anyone that knows me knows I've been single now for a year. Ok, it will have been a year on February 14 (yeah, I was that girl). I did the breaking up. They would also know that I'm sort of a serial monogamist. I hate labels like that, but by damn, if there's one that applies to me that would be it. Anyway, the whole single thing is a new world for me. I'm a baby. I'm 3 months away from 30, and I've never dated around. I don't even really know what that means honestly (and obviously). I've had my boyfriends, and lots and lots of guy friends to hang out with plutonically. I still have the guy friends, a few of which have tried to move into the dating category...unsucessfully. I'll tell you why:
1. Guys (and people in general) want the unattainable. Once they realize you can be attained, party's over. No fun there.
2. I'm waiting on this one. How do you move from being asked out...having a great time...then not really talking to them again until they realize you are once again unattainable.
Maybe I'm generalizing here. It's my experience though. It happened today. And last week. And two weeks before that. I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but it seems to be a fact. Boys want what they can't have.
Serial monogamy doesn't lend itself to girlfriends either. I see shows like Sex and the City and wonder who has girlfriends like that. I know people do. I don't. I have guy friends. I have maybe 5 really great girlfriends scattered across the globe. We sure as hell don't meet up 3 times a week and talk about boys. This leads me to believe that maybe I missed out. Maybe if I did, I wouldn't be sitting here confused as hell about the gender that I actually find myself being friends with much easier. And why can't I transfer that? And do I really want to right now? Obviously, as it wouldn't be bothering me.
A few years ago, if I had stumbled upon this blog, I would've laughed. I would've laughed at the hilarity of a girl actually caring about something so dumb...and more so, that she would write about it. Let me take another step and be cliche as fuck: Karmas a bitch. And that's a whole 'nother entry...
Part of the reason I lie in bed awake are my thoughts. I think about all the things I probably should have thought about during the daytime, but didn't. Or couldn't. Or just wouldn't. I take the hours of 12 - 4 or so to analyze every aspect of my life (and others), and wonder why I can't make it better. Maybe that's insane...or the ADHD I'm always told that I probably have (which I refuse to embrace, but have my own suspicions).
So maybe I should write them all down. Share my analyzations of my world. Hell, it might help me sleep. Or at least get to sleep before 5 in the morning.
Tonight, I lay awake sort of baffled. Anyone that knows me knows I've been single now for a year. Ok, it will have been a year on February 14 (yeah, I was that girl). I did the breaking up. They would also know that I'm sort of a serial monogamist. I hate labels like that, but by damn, if there's one that applies to me that would be it. Anyway, the whole single thing is a new world for me. I'm a baby. I'm 3 months away from 30, and I've never dated around. I don't even really know what that means honestly (and obviously). I've had my boyfriends, and lots and lots of guy friends to hang out with plutonically. I still have the guy friends, a few of which have tried to move into the dating category...unsucessfully. I'll tell you why:
1. Guys (and people in general) want the unattainable. Once they realize you can be attained, party's over. No fun there.
2. I'm waiting on this one. How do you move from being asked out...having a great time...then not really talking to them again until they realize you are once again unattainable.
Maybe I'm generalizing here. It's my experience though. It happened today. And last week. And two weeks before that. I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but it seems to be a fact. Boys want what they can't have.
Serial monogamy doesn't lend itself to girlfriends either. I see shows like Sex and the City and wonder who has girlfriends like that. I know people do. I don't. I have guy friends. I have maybe 5 really great girlfriends scattered across the globe. We sure as hell don't meet up 3 times a week and talk about boys. This leads me to believe that maybe I missed out. Maybe if I did, I wouldn't be sitting here confused as hell about the gender that I actually find myself being friends with much easier. And why can't I transfer that? And do I really want to right now? Obviously, as it wouldn't be bothering me.
A few years ago, if I had stumbled upon this blog, I would've laughed. I would've laughed at the hilarity of a girl actually caring about something so dumb...and more so, that she would write about it. Let me take another step and be cliche as fuck: Karmas a bitch. And that's a whole 'nother entry...
Thursday, January 27, 2011
i can't remember my xanga password
Considering I'm almost 30, that's probably good. So I'm here. Sup y'all.
It's the year 2011. I think that's supposed to mean something to me. Eleven has forever been my lucky number (yeah, I have one), so that makes sense, right? Nothing phenomenal yet, but the year is still young.
I guess you're not supposed to get too heavy or anything in your first blog post. I mean, it's like a first date, I guess huh? It just feels weird. We're not that cool yet. I mean, I might abandon this altogether, and all of this personal information is just hanging out on the internet. We'll take it slow. I guess we'll see. So maybe I just don't have a boyfriend. I have a blog instead. This could be genius.
It's the year 2011. I think that's supposed to mean something to me. Eleven has forever been my lucky number (yeah, I have one), so that makes sense, right? Nothing phenomenal yet, but the year is still young.
I guess you're not supposed to get too heavy or anything in your first blog post. I mean, it's like a first date, I guess huh? It just feels weird. We're not that cool yet. I mean, I might abandon this altogether, and all of this personal information is just hanging out on the internet. We'll take it slow. I guess we'll see. So maybe I just don't have a boyfriend. I have a blog instead. This could be genius.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)